There’s no secret to the fact (or shouldn’t be) that history is penned by the ruling party, democratic government, social hierarchy, or ruthless dictator of the time. To that end, I am shedding a bit of light on history as it may very well have happened on this day. I’m not sure because I wasn’t there. But I’ve heard! Oh, I’ve heard.
On this day in history:
594 BC – A raunchy visitor to Babylon peed in the pools of the Hanging Gardens. Previously, the gardens had no formal name. A servant secretly spied the man. She later suggested the name Hanging Gardens to King Nebuchadnezzar II.
408 BC – Four hundred years after the Empire of Macedonia established itself, the term shank was coined by these stalwart swordsmen, and the idea of improvising on the battlefield was born. In an encampment at dusk, bandits attacked during the 1st Legion’s evening meal. One swarthy minion (later promoted to General) named Severus “Shanks” Smith, caught without his sword, happened to be eating a leg of chicken. With a razor wit, he broke the leg bone in half and used the protruding end of the sharp shank as a weapon. He downed most of the bandits by himself. He was given a commendation of livestock, and the term “shank” entered ancient language.
1247 AD – With entrance of gunpowder onto the world stage, a Chinese man by the name of Quin “Boomstick” Huia became the first to commit genocide against his fellow citizens. He stood at his guard post sporting a simply-designed musket. He caught a glimpse of a man entering his and his wife’s abode. Jealousy struck as did Huia. Three people were shot and killed from his post at the city gates. He is the first man in history known to go “postal”.
1888 AD – Artist of little fame at the time – Vincent van Gogh – cut off his ear. The next day he said “what?” forty-seven times.
2017 AD – Three devious men of the Trump administration were indicted on federal charges.
And, that’s all may or may not have happened on this day in history. I’m not sure, I wasn’t there for most of it. Until my next installment . . .